I have noticed a weird phenomenon for many years now. God smites those who have been mean to me. I know it sounds petty and immature. But that is the simple truth.
The first time I noticed it was around 2016 when a business I had with some other people closed and we had to default on our private loan. The loan was through a notable, kind, elderly Christian couple in what ended up becoming my denomination and my church. I was a new Christian at the time, but I already loved studying the scriptures, and in that time wrote my two books for the LORD, to learn about Him and glorify Him. We (mostly me, working two jobs plus raising my children as a single mom) worked diligently to pay the monthly mortgage to them as they were owner-financing us. This was very gracious of them, to owner-finance us, as we were a group of poor midwives and could not come up with a loan on our own. However, when the business had to be closed, we all met at the lawyer’s office and had our final meeting to sign papers for it to revert back to them. They were going to turn around and sell the building, and all the 6 years of payments I had made were going to go down the drain. We had spent literally 80K dollars improving their building, not to mention appliances and other upgrades. Nevertheless, it was an affable ending between us and the owners, and they were very gracious about us not being able to continue in the terms of the loan. I also lived in an apartment in the building at the time and was going to be displaced, having to find an apartment short notice with a pet. I had loans to pay, and I made a pittance and did not know how I was going to afford to move, live, or take care of my sons. So, I went to the last meeting armed with this bible verse, hoping for mercy on their part:
If you lend money to any of My people who are poor among you, you shall not be like a moneylender to him; you shall not charge him interest. ~Exodus 22:25
I nicely suggested to them that the interest that we had paid on the building could possibly come back to us after they had sold it to someone else. I cannot remember exactly what I was pitching but I was open to anything. I think I would have been happy with 10K each, as a gift for improving their building and helping us on our way. I laid out my case before them with my colleagues present (and watching bemusedly), that we had put all of our money, blood, sweat, and tears into that building and that I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to live now. My colleagues were single women at the time as well. The owners listened but declined my request, and even became offended and defensive, saying that paying interest was the term of the loan that we all agreed to, and they were not about to do anything of the sort. I distinctly remember the wife raising her voice to me and becoming angry.
I will also mention that they lived in a large, lovely home with land on the lake which one of the parents had purchased for very little money back in the early 1900’s. I have heard it is a beautiful place. They had plenty of means and were already old by this time. Selling this building to someone else assured them hundreds of thousands of dollars more. I agreed with them about the terms of the loan and that what they were doing was fair and lawful (according to man), and I did not say anything more about it. Immediately after this, I scrambled around and God came through with the perfect apartment for me, the appliances I needed, and I was able to get on food stamps for that time in my life. He miraculously provided everything I needed to raise my sons and live a nice life.
But as we were completing our moving out of the building, the couple stopped in and told us that their daughter had been struck with a very serious illness and was in the hospital, I think in the ICU, and they were not sure she was going to recover. It was very startling because she wasn’t that old at the time, and it was a surprise for everyone. They were distraught about it. But I couldn’t get over the very real feeling that God was punishing them for how they had treated me, and more: for not honoring His word. I think He was showing me that He had my back. I was shocked, but did draw comfort from that form of justice, I will admit, because those days were so hard for me. And no one seemed to care, except Him. I found out after another year or so that the owner was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease.
As time went by and other offenses happened to me, I noticed that some sort-of reckoning would often follow. It always happened relatively quickly, following with days to weeks of their mean behaviors. I came to understand and trust that God grew very angry when people hurt me, and I knew He would take care of it. I do take the bible verse very seriously that says, ‘vengeance is the Lord’s’, and that we are not to return malice with malice. Even if God does not visibly punish my perpetrators, I would not seek vengeance, and indeed, on my journey of sanctification I try to always do good to those who hate me.
I have also noticed that these punishments are stronger for believers (those who profess to know Him and call themselves Christians) who hurt me, versus unbelievers. But this is telling as God chastises those whom He calls sons. And He expects MORE from those who bear His name.
When I first realized this was happening, it reminded me of the horror movie from my childhood, Carrie, by Stephen King and Lawrence Cohen. Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom. Who doesn’t remember this iconic scene?
Except I wasn’t the one doing it. God was.
Another instance occurred in my own son and his wife about a year ago. They grew angry because they thought I had destroyed a figurine from his dying grandmother that was being handed down from his siblings as a sort of fertility idol. It was a big misunderstanding, and I had done nothing wrong (they had misplaced it), but I did admonish them that they should know better than to worship idols and that it was a sin. They responded by literally tracking me down and verbally abusing–even cornering me–like demons will do. I responded as lovingly as I could but was very shaken by this event. These children of mine want babies more than any other my other kids, and now they are struggling with infertility. I think back to their treatment of me and their idolatry, and I know there is a link. I believe that if they would repent, seek forgiveness, and turn to the Lord, He would forgive them and grant them children. But they do not; they are seeking fertility treatment from man (against my advice).
Okay, so in the past few months I have been treated poorly from a brother in Christ who actually became a rare friend of mine. I say ‘rare’ because I don’t let people ‘in’ easily anymore. It takes years for me to be able to open up to folks enough until they actually feel like a friend, and I call them ‘friend’. Regular Christian folks are my brothers and sisters in Christ, but to be my friend is a step above this, and I take it very seriously. I began noticing over time that this brother/friend was spending more and more of his time fraternizing with a pagan physician whose wife his wife worked with. My friend’s wife goes to church but doesn’t necessarily abide in Christ, so she is already at risk for falling away from the Lord. Anyway, they have started spending every week with them, camping with them, going to concerts with them, barbequing with them. Like that has become his main social outlet. I tried to broach this subject with him a couple years ago when it was starting. I told him it wasn’t really biblical to spend more time with unbelievers than believers, that we were called to give most of our time and attention to the brethren. But he disagreed because he saw this family as his mission, to win for Christ. Fast forward two years later and they have become not only his mission but his best friends. I found out that they don’t even take their two kids with them now because he knows it is not a kid-friendly or Christ-friendly environment. They leave their kids with a baby-sitter or grandparent, like on a weekly basis! And he sees nothing wrong with this! The doctor appears no closer to accepting Jesus as his savior than he did two years ago.
So, I gently rebuked my friend for this, reminding him that it wasn’t the right thing for him to be doing, especially in light of leaving his kids behind; that it wasn’t a good example of Christian family life, nor good for the children! He seemed to listen at first, then recovered with his usual explanation: “Jesus spent time with tax collectors and sinners!” To which I refuted, “Yes, but one meeting with Jesus was enough to turn them to His way and make them Christians! They didn’t remain sinners and tax collectors!” The bible clearly says to preach the Word, and if they won’t hear it, to shake the dust off and move on.
But you see his pride is all caught up in this thing now. He refuses to walk away. Once I gave my rebuke, I let it go, but after this chat my friend began distancing himself from me, and even being mean to me, which hurt. I am not sure he was aware of how he was treating me, but I noticed. I gave him some space, and he kept carving out more space. He had told me he was going to help me with a certain project, but he ignored the subject, and I had to find someone else to help me. He was cold and distant. It got to where we were no longer chatting about real things anymore, just superficial things. I would try to keep returning to the former flavor of our friendship, but he wouldn’t budge. I felt slighted. Since I am trying to live a biblical life as much as possible, I employed the bible verse ‘do good to those who hate you’, and one day I told him I was going to pick up his favorite meal for lunch to which he responded as his old friendly self. Then when I went to the restaurant, it had just closed down a few days before! Weird. I took this as a sign from God. I did not end up buying him lunch since my effort flopped. He was nicer to me for a couple days after that, but then reverted back to his distant self. I struggled and was sad. I felt I was losing my friend. But all my efforts to try and grasp it back into existence, failed. I finally sort-of let it go and distanced myself too. I made peace with the fact that my old friend just couldn’t hear my rebuke, and he was too proud and ensnared in this sinful lifestyle to want to do anything about it. I knew that it was going to take a different effort from God to make him see the light.
Then last night this brother texted me that his young son was in the ER, having been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes mellitus! I was so sad for him as this son has been challenging for them. He has always struggled with bad anxiety issues and easily folds under pressure. I went to bed and then when I woke up, I remembered God’s curse to those who are mean to me. I was like, WOAH. It’s sort-of scary actually. This punishment phenomenon makes me see Him as the mighty God He is and reminds me He is to be feared.
I should not be surprised though, because the bible tells us He will do this:
You must not bow down to them or worship idols that you have placed over me, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. ~Deuteronomy 5:9
I am not God, but I bring the word of God to people to try and convict them of their sin. And in that way, I guess God holds them accountable.
I have found there is a fine line between friends and enemies. Someone might be your friend today and your enemy tomorrow. Thankfully, Jesus takes the ambiguity out of it and tells us to treat everyone, friend and enemy, with love.
Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, because their fathers did the same to the false prophets. But I say to you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him to takes away your goods do not ask them back. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ~Luke 6:26-31
I find I serve Him best by treating fellow believers as brothers and sisters in Christ, not friends. I find that people cannot sustain my level of friendship very long, and it ends up breaking down, which is hard on me. I would rather devote my time and energy to God. ❤
~Song of Mary~ 