I performed my first home health visit as an FNP-C this past weekend, on a spry 95-year-old lady. I spent pretty much half a day or more in anguish and anxiety over preparing and completing this visit. I was in a state of hypervigilance, not wanting to miss anything, or overlook any detail, with the overarching mindset of not doing anything unsafe or harmful: primum non nocere, first do no harm. I knew this first visit of pulling all my hard work together would be daunting and it was! But I also knew it needed to happen, and I welcomed it as bravely as I could.
How exhilarating it was! The visit went flawlessly, and I had so much fun doing it! I prepared the proper forms, did the proper assessment and physical exam, and even drew her blood for lab work. I changed her medications some and ordered refills from the local pharmacy during the visit. Later, I had to work out some kinks in having the lab bill Medicare, and I will have to follow-up on how well they pay based on how I filled out the requisition form. I am very pleased that my lab courier picks up every day of the week, and the turn-around time was two days total, which isn’t bad considering they process her blood in Seattle.
I definitely feel like I am on the right path for me <3. Which is a wonderful thing to know. Right?
But an interesting detail has arisen I will share with you. She paid me with a check which I thought about cashing on my way home, but then I forgot–darn it! Then I did not have time Monday. Then I planned to take it during my work break yesterday (Tuesday) so I got it ready and folded it with my work sticky notes and placed it in my deep dress pocket that I always wear. I went to work in the office and sat at the usual places and did the usual things, and it wasn’t even a busy day. However, when I went to leave on my bank break, my check and deposit slip were gone. My sticky notes were there, my pen was there, my keys were there, but my check and deposit slip were gone, completely vanished into thin air! I checked my car, I checked my home, I retraced my steps at work, viewed the parking lot; I enlisted my co-worker to help me, I checked my pockets a dozen times, I dug through the trash. I berated myself for not cashing the check sooner (which I had forgotten to do) and I was so embarrassed that I was so spacey as to have lost something so quickly that was so small. I figured it would turn up by evening; that a coworker would call or something, anything. My patient offered to write me another check, which I declined. But my check remained lost. I let it go as it wasn’t that much money, and decided I would chalk it up as a first-visit sacrifice.
I retired to bed early and woke up very early with a vision (see my other post today) from God and many words from Him–4 to be sure–which is an unusually large number of things to hear from God at once! One of the words was:
You have been given freely to, so freely give.
I was like, wow, okay, Lord, so You want me to give away my work as an FNP??? And in my spirit, I felt Him confirm this. This knowledge was followed by a feeling of peace and satisfaction, or rightness; of, if not now, when? I have been in training to be ‘a missionary’ for so long and thought my free work would come when I ministered in a developing country, or maybe with the homeless population here. But for regular people? Here? I felt Him say yes to this, and that is why my payment miraculously disappeared. It was so I would know God really means it.
Do I understand this fully? No, not really. Regular working folks can afford to pay me. I always thought of free work or real missions as going out to the poor. But when I think about it, Jesus did not distinguish between the financially challenged or the well-off; He was interested in healing the sick without discriminating for or against those with or without means. His goal was saving the lost. When He sent out the disciples, He did not tell them to give freely to the poor but charge the rich. His call was simply to go out and heal in His name, without concern or focus on finances or money.
And when He had called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.
These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying: “Do not go into the way of the Gentiles, and do not enter a city of the Samaritans. But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Provide neither gold nor silver nor copper in your money belts, nor bag for your journey, nor two tunics, nor sandals, nor staffs; for a worker is worthy of his food.
“Now whatever city or town you enter, inquire who in it is worthy, and stay there till you go out. And when you go into a household, greet it. If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!
~Matthew 10: 1, 5-15, NKJV
We have been duped by the ruler of this world to differentiate with money, between the haves and have-nots. Money is our greatest idol. We believe satan when he tells us that those who have money or wealth can buy everything they need to be happy and healthy, and those without money will struggle and are more likely to be sick. ‘Healthcare’ is a huge concern for our nation and was the primary goal of our past president, Barak Obama. If you have access to healthcare, you will be well and if you don’t you won’t. Or so they say.
But that is a lie. Mental illness affects the rich and the poor. Folks of all classes commit suicide. Heart disease and cancer do not differentiate between someone who lives in a mansion versus a park. As we play more in internet space–the Prince of the air’s domain (satan)–our chance for depression increases, and our physical activity decreases. And it is not coincidence that as each generation falls further away from God, our world becomes a worse place to live. Jesus, not health care providers, is the only true Healer, of body and mind. And if we aren’t doing it His way, we cannot heal. Not with any lasting effect.
Jesus’ mission was to simply heal the sick, among the chosen ones. And their needs would be provided for. Jesus knew there were poor people and that they ‘would always be with you’ (Matthew 26:11), but His mission wasn’t just to the poor. He saw beyond the obvious plight of the poor, which could equate to our modern-day homeless population. He saw the suffering and sickness of all people, regardless of their financial circumstances. And those are who He ministered to, sent His disciples to, called us to preach the gospel to, and gives to me to minister to. He has prepared and equipped me for such a time as this, and I am called to serve Him and His people, freely.
This calls for obedience because it is so antithesis to our way of living, the worlds’ way of being, my way of making a living. People with means pay, people without means get. That is how our modern culture works. But God says, “Give freely to all those I send you to and send to you“.
~Thank you for this word, LORD.
~Song of Mary~ 