Category: not abandoned in God

HYOWM AYWB~The Day of Job

As feelings of desolation, gloom, and hopelessness pervade my being I am reminded by the Helping Spirit that Job suffered just like me.  No other account in the Bible relates the human condition of losing everything when it seemingly makes no sense like the Book of Job.  Hence there I find my only solace.

I can completely relate to his story and I am so thankful it is in the Bible, and that I am acquainted with it.  As I lift my head above the churning waves of despair, I get a glimpse of the hope that is my God looking down upon me with affection and love, eager to assuage my pain.

I believe God is using me as He did Job:  to be an example of righteousness to the devil.

It’s not that I am perfect.  I have struggled with difficult things.  Since becoming a Christian I have sinned less and less, but pulling out of a sinful way of thinking has been a long process of two steps forward, one step back.  I have especially fought a battle with sexual immorality.  It isn’t that I am that bad by worldly standards, but that it has taken me longer to perfect the side of myself that seeks romance and relationship.  I think this is typical of most women.

Yet I do get better as time goes by, praise God.  And I believe He has chosen to make an example of me despite these fall backs.

I first lost my marriage when my husband left me.  I then began losing my family as I had known it; my kids gravitated to their father’s house and he remarried, giving them a new family.  I have grieved the loss of their presence as a mother would grieve a literal death of her child.  I fought in utter desperation to try to keep them close to me, all to no avail.  As time went by my hope for having another committed relationship slowly eroded away until I have all but given up on hoping for one anymore, and this is after much effort was exerted on my part to meet someone who completed me.  My business then failed into which I had invested my time, money, heart, and future.  As I go forth trying to carve out a career niche that suits me, I meet mostly dead ends.  I have interviewed for jobs to only be turned down, even when I seemed to be the best candidate or even overly qualified.  God gives me work, but it does not utilize all my talents leaving me feeling like my potential is untapped, and leaving me always unfulfilled.  My financial situation is rather dour and I am in debt.  I have noticed of late that I am having chest pain after moderate aerobic exercise which I never had before.  My friends are left baffled by my circumstances, but instead of understanding this as a Job moment and giving me good counsel, they begin launching into a litany of advice and vain words which only increases my frustration and pain.

I have lost my marriage, my family, my career has stagnated, and now I am losing my health.

Through it all, I have tried to do what modern Christian pastors, counselors, and friends tell you to do:  I have shared my plight with my Christian friends.  The problem is that my failures make no rational sense when you try to explain them, which they inevitably try to do.  My husband did not have to get a new wife two weeks after he left me; my children should not have gravitated to him because I was a doting stay-at-home-homeschooling mom; my business was a shining example of perfection in this region of the United States as I am a highly qualified practitioner with a good reputation in my community; and I have always had exemplary health, am relatively athletic, have low blood pressure, and low cholesterol!  Yet all but one of my few Christian friends have difficulty validating me and my experiences at the least, and at the worst, cause trauma to me with their words which sound harsh to my wounded and sensitive ears.

Like Job’s friends, my primary Christian female friend implies that either I am somehow not being thankful enough for what I have (I am very thankful and thank God without ceasing); that I am focusing too much on the negative side of things because the reality really is not that bad–that I just am going through a hard time and having trouble seeing objectively; that it is not time yet for God to bless me because I am somehow not ready or matured in my faith enough to warrant that yet; or that His purpose is being fulfilled through me in all these failures but I just cannot see it–as if others go through this all the time (and I know they do not).  These false ideas come at me as I try to do as I am told and seek comfort among my Christian sisters.  However, just like Job’s brethren, my sisters do me more harm than good.

The fact is that our Christian culture has adopted an understanding of God’s will as something like this:  If you are obedient, you will be blessed and those blessings will look like success in our world.  Christian fruit has been taken to mean having plenty, being successful in business, and having a close relationship with your children.  You may suffer a little while, but not too long….unless you are being disobedient.  There is no room for extended catastrophic events or Job-like moments in our modern understanding of the Lord.  I would guess this is because we don’t have much cultural memory as Americans of times being very hard, and our understanding of God has been molded along with the advancing affluence of our country.

But sometimes God still makes examples of people like He did Job, and I am here to testify of that.  It is the only explanation that makes rational sense for the things I have endured and continue to endure.  God still wants to show the devil that some put Him first.  Even a new Christian who has only known Him 4 years!

I am tested often but I am not usually consciously aware it is a test at the time, but sometimes I become aware of it during the test or just afterward.  I do not usually try to answer in a way to merely please God, though that would be okay, I believe, but I answer in what I know or feel to be right in the situation.  I know many Christian sisters who would pass these tests too, and I have to ask, as Job did, “Why me, LORD?”  Maybe more of us have Job moments than we can know.  But what I do know, is that I am blessed to be debased in the world.  The lower I become in the world, the higher I become unto God.

I hope I am pleasing God as much as Job did.  Thankfully I can see where Job made his mistake doubting God, and hopefully with Jesus’ strength, I can keep my faith as I keep my love for Him and my neighbor.  I pray the devil can see that there really are some Christians who fear God and shun evil faithfully through pain, loss, and as all worldly blessings fall away.  Thank God for the Bible.  I can find validation and solace here I can literally find no where else:

Oh that my grief were fully weighed, and my calamity laid with it in the balances!  For then it would be heavier than the sand of the sea–

What strength do I have, that I should hope?  And what is my end, that I should prolong my life?  Is my help not within me?  And is success driven from me?

To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.  My brothers have dealt deceitfully like a brook, like the streams of the brooks that pass away, which are dark because of the ice, and into which the snow vanishes.  When it is warm, they cease to flow; when it is hot, they vanish from their place.  The paths of their way turn aside, they go nowhere and perish.  The caravans of Tema look, the travelers of Sheba hope for them.  They are disappointed because they were confident; they come there and are confused.  

But what does your arguing prove?  Do you intend to reprove my words, and the speeches of a desperate one, which are as wind?  Yes, you overwhelm the fatherless, and you undermine your friend.  Now therefore, be pleased to look at me; for I would never lie to your face.  Turn now, let there be no injustice; yes, turn again, my righteousness still stands.

So I have been allotted months of futility, and wearisome nights have been appointed to me.  When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended?’  For I have had my fill of tossing till dawn.  My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and are spent without hope.  Oh, remember that my life is a breath!  My eye will never again see good.  The eye of him who sees me will see me no more; while your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be.  As the cloud disappears and vanishes away, so he who goes down to the grave does not come up.  He shall never return to his house, nor shall his place know him anymore.

What is man, that You should magnify him, that You should set Your heart on him, that You should attend to him every morning, and test him every moment?  How long?  Will You not look away from me, and let me alone till I swallow my saliva?  Why have You set me as Your target, so that I am a burden to myself?  Why then do You not pardon my transgression, and take away my iniquity?  For now I will lie down in the dust, and You will seek me diligently, but I will no longer be.

Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it.  What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you.  You are all worthless physicians.  Oh, that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom!  Your platitudes are proverbs of ashes….

Be silent with me, and let me speak, then let come on me what may!  Why do I take my flesh in my teeth, and put my life in my hands?  Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.  

Death and the Afterlife, Part III: Sheol

I emphatically believe there is an afterlife called Sheol.  Sheol is SHAL or SHAWL in Hebrew and means world of the dead.  It is pronounced sheh-ole’, with a long e.  Translators over the centuries have also called this hell.

The individual letters in the word Sheol tell us much about its meaning.  Hebrew is read from right to left.  The first letter of Sheol looks like a ‘W’ and is the letter ‘shin’, the 21st letter in the Hebrew alphabet.  It is next to the last letter in the alphabet with the last letter being T, Taw.  This itself means that Sheol is not the final place, but the next to last place.  If it were the final place, it would be better represented by T, as in Theol.

The legs of the shin converge downward into a central point or valley.  The Jews believe the way it is drawn represents the three valleys surrounding Jerusalem coming together with the central point being Jerusalem itself.  Note that Ezekiel below speaks about the bones of the valley coming to life.  Sheol is a pit.  Pit correlates with valley.  Overall the first letter of Sheol reminds us of the wide path to hell:

“Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” (Matthew 7:13)

Then there is the letter A, aleph and looks kind of like our ‘X’.  A is undeniably the letter which represents God and things or people denoting God’s realm.  ALHYM is God’s name given to us in the first sentence of the Bible.  Coming after shin in the word Sheol shows us that God is the only one who can reach down into Sheol, but that He is right there beside those who suffer in Sheol, that they are not forgotten by Him.

The next letter in the word Sheol is an L, lamed, and it reaches up into Heaven!  The letter L is associated with words describing holy concepts in the Bible.  It is next to aleph because it is connected to Heaven.  Almighty ALHYM  contacted those in the pit, redeemed them, and sent them on into Heaven.

Sometimes a ‘vav’ or w (in modern Hebrew it is a v) is inserted between the aleph and lamed (A and L) in the word Sheol.  A vav serves as a divine connector or force of God that binds Heaven and earth (hebrew4christians.com).  In the picture of the word Sheol above, there is no vav.  However, in the above word for Sheol there is an H, hey, placed at the end.  H represents God’s breath and exists in everything.  At the beginning of words it imparts definition to a thing, or acknowledges something as it is.  In the middle of words it means God breathes right into the thing.  At the end of words it means femininity.  Being placed here at the end of Sheol it likely means He resurrected his bride from Sheol, and sent her into Heaven upon His breath.

Finally, the letters in the word Sheol are strikingly close to the letters in the word for Israel:  YSRAL, showing us that God’s people are never far from Sheol, and as Jesus says, most will end up there.

ysrael (3)

~~~~~~~

As I have been describing in my vision given to me by God, Sheol for those who have denied God is a torment.  Here are some verses that offer some interesting descriptions of it:

The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.  And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.’27 And he said, ‘Then I beg you, father, to send him to my father’s house—28 for I have five brothers—so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.’ 29 But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’”  ~Luke 16:22-31

God allowed the rich man to look up into paradise to see the rich man being comforted by Abraham.  God is watching to see what the rich man says and what is in his heart when he is called to look up out of Hades (Sheol).  The rich man cared more about his brothers in this parable than himself, which is good.  When he asks if someone can go to them from the dead it is an allusion to Christ’s coming crucifixion and sacrifice on the cross, and his resurrection from the dead.  But to communicate with the dead is a sin, illustrated by the story of Saul and the witch of Endor, so there is no way Father Abraham will grant the rich man’s wish.

Once you die, it is too late to be redeemed except by the grace of God, and the prayers of those who breathe the Holy Spirit your direction.

…For there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.  (Ecc 9:10)

In Hebrew:

Work is ‘M’SaH’ and means activity or work.

Thought is ‘CHSHBWN’ and means contrivance, intelligence, or reason.

Knowledge is ‘D’TH’ and means knowledge, norantly, and cunning.

Wisdom is ‘CHKMah’ and means wisdom in a good sense, wisely.

Especially enlightening is the word for knowledge, D’TH, because this is the word referenced in the Bible for God’s knowledge, not just human knowledge.  The root word is YD’ which means ‘to know’.  There are other less divine words available to express human knowledge.

This shows us that Sheol is a place where they cannot work, they cannot reason, they cannot have knowledge, and they cannot be wise.

Many verses go on to speak about the lack of hope in Sheol or the Pit.  This excerpt is from Isaiah 38:17-18:

“…but You loved my soul from the pit of destruction; You have cast all my sins behind Your back.  For Sheol cannot thank You; death cannot praise You; the ones going down to the Pit cannot HOPE for Your truth.”

In these verses, the first mention of ‘pit’ is SHCHTH meaning corruption, grave, or pit.  Sheol means world of the dead or hell.  And the second mention of ‘Pit’ is BWR meaning bore, pit hole, dungeon.  Hope is SHBR meaning watching, or to expect.

Numerous verses speak to God retrieving those in Sheol, and there being a consciousness of sorts there:

“If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.”  ~Psalm 139:8

“Sheol and Abaddon lie open before the LORD; how much more the hearts of the children of man!”  ~Proverbs 15:11

“Though they dig into Sheol, From there will My hand take them; And though they ascend to heaven, From there will I bring them down.”  ~Amos 9:2

God is there with those in Sheol.  There is no memory, no knowledge, no intelligence, no activity, no wisdom, and no hope.  Man will suffer but not even understand why he is suffering.  All things that man needs to live as a man in God’s image and thrive are absent there.  Man in this state is completely at God’s mercy to reach out to him, because in Sheol it seems man will not be able to reach out and seek God anymore.  And I believe God has so much grace that it is right in line with His way to give man a final chance to turn his heart to God in Sheol.  While others sleep peacefully awaiting the Messiah, souls in torment are being saved in ways only God knows.

Only the most evil or wicked will be left in the Final Day, and cast into the eternal Lake of Fire.

The following vision from Ezekiel teaches us how we can each, through the Holy Spirit, reach our hearts down into Sheol and save those destined there for final destruction, helping them on into Heaven with our love through Jesus Christ.  God clearly iterates in this narrative that He gives us the power to do that!

Praise You Yahweh ALHYM for giving Your people a final, extra chance at everlasting life.

The Dry Bones Live

37 The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of theLord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones.2 Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry. 3 And He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

So I answered, “O Lord God, You know.”

4 Again He said to me, “Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 Thus says the Lord God to these bones: “Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord.”’”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 Indeed, as I looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over; but there was no breath in them.

9 Also He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.”’” 10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army.

11 Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, ‘Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. 13 Then you shall know that I amthe Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. 14 I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spokenit and performed it,” says the Lord.’”

For the Prophets and Apostles~

“The LORD has called Me from the womb;

From the matrix [inward parts] of My mother

He has made mention of My name…

And He said to me, ‘You are My servant, O Israel,

In whom I will be glorified.’

Then I said, ‘I have labored in vain,

I have spent my strength for

nothing and in vain;

Yet surely my just reward is with the LORD,

And my work with my God.'”  ~Isaiah 49:1,3

Dry Land and Home~

We are born into water, the elixir of life.  I was taught how to swim at a very young age and I always loved the water:  rivers, pools, lakes, springs, and the ocean.  I found it fun to float atop the waves  and to dive deep into the density.  It was always different and new, always some excitement to be found there.  A feeling you could get no where else.

I realize I have lived my life figuratively on the water.  No real foundation below me; heading out into the water to see what adventure I could have.  Swimming and frolicking with others like me who craved the unknown.  Coming to shore long enough to catch my breath and decide where I was heading next.  Following the next big wave or winding river into the unexplored.

But when I found God He began pushing me inward, toward dry land.  I fought to go deeper, to head out into the great beyond where I thought He was, to the others who beckoned to me from there.  Those who had what I wanted and who could show me places wanted to go.  Yet I remained evermore in the surf.  That part of the ocean that is relentlessly battering against you and pushing you down.  I would get up again and try a new tack to get out beyond the surf.  Maybe this time I would succeed!  Over and over and over again.  In childhood, in adolescence, in young adulthood, in adulthood, in mid-life.  I am battle worn and weary now, from fighting the waves.  I cannot fight God anymore as He pushes me homeward toward dry land.

So instead of going back out to sea, I am going to follow Jesus.  I am going to leave the water and become a fisher of men.  Those in the water are not my family anymore, and they will soon drift out into the eternal sunset, on their destiny that only God knows.

I am going to finally let Him push me onto the shore.  I am going to use my last bit of strength and grit to drag myself up onto the beach until no part of me touches the water.  I am going to flip over exhaustively and bask in the sunshine I know He will shine down on me.  I am going to rest.  My waterlogged skin is going to dry.  I am going to be more alone than I ever was (for a while).  Then I am going to look up and behind me and see a sea of other folks just like me taking refuge on the land He provided; all of us being born not of water, but of the Spirit.

And I am going to join them and together we will become a new family in our Lord GOD.

Praise You Almighty Father for pushing me home.

My Favorite Remarks by Elihu

  • Great men are not always wise, nor do the aged always understand justice.
  • The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.

Death in Man:

  • Man is chastened with pain on his bed, and with strong pain in many of his bones, so that his life abhors bread, and his soul succulent food.  His flesh wastes away from sight, and his bones stick out which once were not seen.  Yes, his soul draws near the Pit, and his life to the executioners.

Man’s Mediator:

  • If there is a messenger for man, a mediator, one among a thousand, to show man His uprightness, then He is gracious to him, and says, “Deliver him from going down to the Pit; I have found a ransom”;
  • His flesh shall be young like a child’s, he shall return to the days of his youth.  He shall pray to God, and He will delight in him; he shall see His face with joy, for He restores to man His righteousness.  And he looks at men and says, “I have sinned and perverted what was right, and it did not profit me.”
  • He will redeem his soul from going down to the Pit, and his life shall see the light.
  • Behold, God works all these things, twice, in fact, three times with a man, to bring back his soul from the Pit, that he may be enlightened with the light of life.

God is Good:

  • Far be it from God to do wickedness, and from the Almighty to commit iniquity.  For He repays man according to his work, and makes man to find a reward according to his way.  Surely God will never do wickedly, nor will the Almighty pervert justice.

God is Mighty:

  • Behold, God is mighty, but despises no one; He is mighty in strength of understanding.  He does not preserve the life of the wicked, but gives justice to the oppressed.  He does not withdraw His eyes from the righteous; but they are on the throne with kings, for He has seated them forever, and they are exalted.
  • And if they are bound in fetters, held in the cords of affliction, then He tells them their work and their transgressions–that they have acted defiantly.
  • He also opens their ear to instruction, and commands that they turn from iniquity.

If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.

But if they do not obey, they shall perish by the sword, and they shall die without knowledge.

  • But the hypocrites in heart store up wrath; they do not cry for help when He binds them.  They die in youth, and their life ends among the perverted persons.

God is Great

  • Behold, God is great, and we do not know Him, nor can the number of His years be discovered.

Death and the Afterlife, Part I: My Dream

God gave me insight today in a morning dream whilst still slumbering in my bed.

Heaven

There IS an afterlife and it is not very far away from us:  it is just through the veil on the ‘other side’.  When you die, if you believe in God and try to do good, your body cleaves from you, and you keep all your consciousness but you have no way to communicate with this world anymore because you have no body.  Like how, joined with our body here on earth, we cannot communicate with Heaven.

There is absolutely no change in the essence in our being, we simply go upward, and a little circle in heaven opens and we transcend unto God’s Realm, and are removed from here.  Our earthly dead body means nothing to us.

hell

However, God showed me specifically that if we commit suicide, or do not believe in Him, or do not try to do good; our body becomes tethered or anchored into the ground of the earth, where we become stuck.  We cannot ascend through into Heaven because we have chosen to be part of this world.  And we become like a tree.  Perhaps this is why God hates tree worship so much.  We are the trunk, and our legs are rooted in the ground.  It is horrible because the earthly world can regard us, but we cannot communicate with it.  Nor can we communicate with Heaven.  This felt like something that lasts forever in my dream.  This is hell.

It is not very difficult to go to Heaven.  It’s simply believing in, and loving God, and trying to do good.  Jesus was in my dream, but as a silent witness to the truth of these matters.

10/02/14:  God plants people here alone when they go to hell (as above), leaving them to their choice of life without Him.  This state is miserable, to say the least, and the only solace they will be able to find is finally accepting the Truth of Him, and loving Him.  Because no matter where we are, God, and only God, can give us peace.  Their punishment therefore is hell tethered into the earth with no one able to hear them, nor understand them, but God; not even others in hell, because they chose a life without Him.

But they will see that God is real and God is Truth, and they will finally be put in a situation where they cannot and will not deny that anymore.  Then when the earth is destroyed and God’s Son comes to reign in Zion, those who have turned to loving God, even from hell, will find themselves in the Lamb’s Book of Life, and live in Heaven with Him and His host.  The others will be ejected into eternal damnation, the Lake of Fire.

Praise Almighty YHWH ALHYM~