I was talking to God last night when I couldn’t sleep and I was relating my sadness to Him like this, “You know, LORD, what it feels like to carry a child inside you for so long, birth it, love it, nurture it, and teach it? You have automatic unconditional love for that child. Then to have that child shun you and reject you, not believe in you at all, and walk an entirely different direction away from you in their life?
And then I felt Him looking at me with compassion and I saw in His heart that He knows exactly how that feels because He endures it every day since He created man. I have 5 children who shun me. He has 5 billion who shun Him. For,
“…wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” ~Matthew 7:13-14
God knows exactly how I feel. What’s more, if His children can shun Him as the Perfect and Loving Father that He is, how much more can mine shun me as a sinful woman?
I chose to mate with a man who was taught about God and who shunned God, as I myself had shunned God. I forced us to have children even when God was not blessing us with them. I built a life upon the shifting sand with this man and in the end I lost my children and everything I created with him. I thought I knew many things. But in the end only God matters. He is the rock upon which everything should be founded, and if we choose to build outside the Rock, then we should not be surprised by the outcome.
It is a heart-wrenching thing to watch the humans you love most turn their back on Life, knowing that they are headed for certain destruction. But God does this every day and understands. And that gives me a certain comfort. ❤
Praise you LORD for understanding first-hand the source of our grief. ~selah
~Song of Mary~ 